30 Ways to Feel Better About Yourself and Life
By Steve Harland · Published 30 May 2015 · Last updated 16 October 2026
Short answer: To feel better about yourself and life, start small: change the words you use with yourself, be kind when things go wrong, enjoy being you, laugh more, and look at situations more realistically. Below are thirty simple, light-hearted suggestions to try.
It’s easy to get bogged down with daily life. Time, responsibilities, routines and the way we see ourselves all affect how we feel. This list is a simple, if somewhat light-hearted, set of ideas for how to feel differently for a while, how to get motivated, how to feel OK about yourself and how to feel better about life.
How Can You Change the Way You Talk to Yourself?
1. Replace the word “should” with “could”
Should is a demand, a must-do: I must pass my exam, I must behave a certain way, I must go on a diet. Could is a lovely word. I could pass my exam, I could behave a certain way, I could go on a diet. Feel any different?
2. See things as potential challenges rather than certain failures
Look at your goals as something you can have a crack at. If we view things through the filter of “I can’t do it, it’s unachievable”, we set ourselves up for failure before we even start.
3. Demystify your ambitions
They are often smaller than you think. Try not to see what you want to do as an overwhelming task fraught with hardship and disappointment, something only others can do. Break things down into small, achievable steps and do one at a time, regularly. You would be amazed at what you can achieve in a relatively short time.
4. Tell yourself you’re going to have a good day, first thing in the morning
This is amazingly effective. Say it out loud, or even just in your head. Positive thoughts are like rocket fuel for the mind. Start as you mean to go on. Attitude counts.
5. Be kind to yourself, generally
Make this a rule of thumb. You might find you feel happier, less demanding of yourself, and healthier in mind and general outlook. It’s a good way to be, full stop.
6. Aim for good enough and see better as a bonus
Don’t let perfection get in the way of good enough. Set reasonable expectations of life and from then on the only way is up.
7. Trust in your judgement
There is no reason not to trust yourself. You have everything you need to make the right decisions in life: an array of senses and the power of observation and evaluation. Go with what you feel.
8. Abolish “but”
“But” is one of those dreadful words that keeps us in our comfort zone. It’s a way of staying safe, never trying or exploring anything, never taking a risk. I could do it, but… “But” keeps “could” at bay. Unless it’s practical, of course (we could fly the old biplane, but the wings might fall off, is a good example).
How Can You Be Kinder to Yourself When Things Go Wrong (or Right)?
9. Feel sorry for yourself, and don’t feel bad about it
Whoever said it’s wrong to feel sorry for yourself never experienced any hardship. If you’ve had bad news, lost your job or had your car stolen, lick your wounds first before you move on. Trying to assign right or wrong to a feeling is about as useful as pouring boiling water into a chocolate teapot.
10. Have a good cry whenever you can
Whether it’s a movie, a piece of music, a sprained ankle or a broken love affair, cry it out. You owe it to yourself.
11. Get something wrong and feel OK about it
Don’t be your harshest critic. Let yourself off every so often. You will make mistakes. Life consists of a series of “Oh no!” moments, and it’s how we recover that makes the difference.
12. Get something right and own it
How easy it is to jump on ourselves when we get something wrong, yet when we get something right we fail to recognise it. Stop for a moment and pat yourself on the back (yes, physically pat yourself on the back). You deserve it.
13. Don’t feel guilty or bad about what you think
It’s just what you think. You will probably think something else in a minute.
14. Remember that today’s problem is tomorrow’s memory
Whatever is troubling you today will, in a month or in three years, be a memory: something you got through, an experience you learned from and put behind you. So don’t get too down. Time heals.
15. Accept as much as you can
The more we accept, the happier we are. This doesn’t mean we stop trying to improve things. Acceptance simply cuts down on stress and lets us live more in the moment.
How Can You Enjoy Being Yourself More?
16. Own your world
It’s as much yours as anyone else’s. Wherever you are, at any moment, you are at the very centre of your universe, with your own unique way of being and experiencing the world. Live life the way you want to. If it isn’t hurting you or anyone else, what harm can it do?
17. Marvel at your individuality
In the whole of space and time, it is extremely unlikely there has ever been anyone quite like you. Even a Fabergé egg is more common than you are, and that is truly amazing.
18. Do things that you really enjoy
A pastime, a hobby, a sport, books we like, bands we enjoy: things that feel uniquely ours give us a sense of identity that can hold our interest for a lifetime. Isn’t that a good thing to do?
19. Treat yourself
Once in a while, treat yourself to something you really like. Do it guilt-free, in the knowledge that life is not only about giving but also receiving.
20. Dance when there’s no one else around
When you’re on your own, turn your house into a private disco. Stick on your favourite tunes and dance like you mean it. If you’ve done this before, you already know how good it feels. If not, get going. You’ll love it.
21. Admire someone and acknowledge their difference without diminishing yourself
Sizing yourself up against the next person and finding yourself lacking can only lead to misery. Acknowledge other people’s differences and celebrate your own individuality.
22. Do or say something daring
I’m not talking about bungee jumping. I’m talking about joining a dating site, trying something new, or starting a conversation with that girl or guy you like. Choose something that’s yours and can reasonably be overcome. Take a small risk in preparation for the bigger ones.
How Can Humour Help You Cope With Everyday Stress?
23. Make yourself laugh, or laugh at yourself
This is one of the greatest things we can do. Have a funny thought. Send your friend a stupid text message. Slip over, drop your phone in the toilet, walk into a lamppost, get the date wrong, or lose your glasses and find them on your head. Laugh at yourself as often as you can. Buster Keaton made a living out of it, and as far as I know we are the only species apart from the hyena capable of laughing. So let’s make the most of it.
24. Get angry and get even with a cardboard box
Use anger as a way to recycle. Take it out on something that won’t get hurt. All feelings are totally natural and need expression. Don’t let anger turn into harmful destruction. Use it to benefit the planet.
25. Consider an argument a heated debate
Politicians do, so why shouldn’t you? It takes the steam out of things, and if you can both see it this way, it could open the door to better communication.
26. See procrastination as a way to get the housework done
Putting things off can be a great way to get the vacuuming or dishes done, make another cup of tea or clean the windows. Optimise time-wasting into productivity.
How Can You See Situations and People More Clearly?
27. Explore all sorts of reasons, not just one or two
As human beings we tend to think quite rigidly: it must be this, it must be that. Any given question in life usually contains a number of possibilities, so try not to settle on just one. The irony is that the more potential reasons you explore, the more likely you are to hit on the right one.
28. Examine your evidence in terms of probability
Get real. Is it really the way you think it is?
29. Give people the benefit of the doubt
Live by the assumption that most people are doing their best in a tough world. Often their mistakes are just that: mistakes. Seeing people as fallible leads to more realistic expectations and can help us empathise and cut ourselves some slack.
30. Consider life a process rather than a means to an end
Life is continuous. If we see it as reaching a destination, a place where we’ll be all right in the end, we miss the good stuff along the way. Try to live each day as a series of mini-lifespans, and review your day by recognising the good things that happened.
Conclusion: Write Your Own List
We don’t have to live our lives through repetition. We can break the mould. Life is rich and incredibly diverse, and sometimes it’s good to question our habits and test out new alternatives. Change a little and often, and before you know it, things might start to feel different. Why not write your own list and see what comes up?
Image © David Mao